I want to, but I can’t stay home- I’m what’s
called ecophobic.
Can’t go to work or hold a job, ‘cause I’m also ergophobic.
I’m agoraphobic,
too, they say; that’s why I hate outdoors.
The mall? Oops, demophobia- it’s so crowded in those stores!
But leave me all alone? No way! I’ve got eremophobia!
And now I never sleep at night, with my touch of hypnophobia.
Did I say touch? Don’t touch me! Nothing personal, it’s haphephobia.
By the way, you’re standing way too close- please
respect my claustrophobia.
Kakorrhaphiophobia
is fear of failure-try saying that fast 3 times!
I would, but I’m afraid I’d fail…and did I mention
my fear of mimes?
It’s called metamfiezomaiophobia-
now that’s a mouthful, too.
But say it, please, don’t act it out; or I'll be creeped, it’s true.
I know you think I’m crazy, and that upsets me so,
‘Cause even your opinion scares me. That’s allodoxaphobia, just so you'll know.
I try so hard to compose myself, but I’m like a
ticking bomb,
And having atomosophobia
(explosions!!!) doesn’t help me stay too calm.
With all these phobias in my head, I’m a walking
dictionary.
But suffering from macroxenoglossophobia as I do, I find these long words scary!
My therapist said I was on the road to recovery
from these issues.
But a euphobic
fear of all good news sent me reaching for the tissues.
We all have things we’re scared of, like spiders,
snakes and mice.
But do you shrink from Japanese, or just plain
knees, or ice?
There are names for those, and I should know, I’m
sure I have all three,
But counterphobia’s
my biggest fear- my fear to be fear-free.
