Today a story caught my eye. Then it captured my mind. I find it incredible in all respects. The article spoke of a condition called Locked-In syndrome in which a patient is aware and awake, with full mental capacity, but unable to move or communicate due to complete paralysis of all the voluntary muscles of the body. The French term for the condition translates as walled-in alive disease. Can you imagine? All your thoughts, your emotions, your will to move trapped inside a body which will not, cannot respond. There is no cure or treatment for this condition, which is caused by damage to specific areas of the lower brain and brainstem. I break into a sweat even thinking about the implications of such a life sentence. And yet… the incredible ability some have to rise above the worst life gives.
The article told of a Parisian journalist, Jean-Dominique Bauby, who suffered a stroke in 1995, and awoke 20 days later completely paralyzed but for his left eyelid. With only the ability to blink, he dictated, letter by letter, his memoir, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. A transcriber repeatedly recited the French alphabet until Bauby blinked to choose the next letter. The article stated that the book took about 200,000 blinks. This amazes me- not the number of blinks to “write” the book- but the ability to conceive a book letter by letter; and the resolve to do it despite the incredible difficulties. Would I have such tenacity? Would I choose to split the walls holding my mind captive with the only tool I had- an eyelid? Or would I wallow in torment and self pity and resign myself to remaining walled-in alive?
God save us from ever dealing with such a horrifying plight. The implications are unbearable. But I have to wonder what other conditions might render you or me walled-in alive. Past hurts? Pride? Fear of failure? Resentment? Jealousy? The inability to let go? I don’t want to be my own prisoner- entrapped by things that hold me back and weigh me down and prevent me from living my life to its full potential. I don’t want that for you, either. So let’s blink. One tiny movement, hardly noticeable, but containing the potential for breaking free. One small change, but the impetus for another small change, and then another. Blink. I will forgive myself. Blink. I will forgive you. Blink. I will let go of some small resentment. Blink. I will take one small step forward in faith. Blink. I will shed this insecurity. Blink. I will embrace a possibility.
200,000 blinks to write a life story. Begun with a single blink.
Now blink.
