impressions from a preacher's kid

My daddy’s real first name must be Brother.

Even though he went to divinity school, he never makes any for us to eat.

Three times a week my daddy makes a long speech at church. I guess that's why he doesn't talk much at home.

People I don’t know will let my daddy put a napkin over their nose and hold their heads under water.

I think a lot of those people must be related to us since he always says “I now baptize you my brother” or “I now baptize you my sister”.

My daddy can stand in a big tub of water and baptize all those brothers and sisters without ever getting his pants wet.

People sometimes come down front after Daddy talks and whisper things in his ear.

My daddy can keep a lot of people’s secrets.

When my daddy goes to the hospital to see sick people he calls it “making a visit.”

My daddy knows a lot of sick people.

My daddy doesn’t like it when my brother sits on the back row and falls asleep.

My daddy doesn’t like it if I get to church late, especially since we live within spitting distance of the front door.

My daddy gets irritated when somebody at church doesn’t turn the microphones on in time.

My daddy likes to mow in his suit.

My daddy hums during the invitation.

It must be hard keeping up with a church full of people. That’s probably why my daddy accidentally forgets I’m in junior high and takes my lunch money to my old elementary school.

It must be hard remembering so many peoples' names all the time. That’s probably why my daddy accidentally forgets and writes mine with an “ie” instead of “y”.

My daddy thinks it’s funny to tease people he knows, like rolling into the back of their cars at stoplights. Most of them don’t get too mad when they see it’s him.

My daddy asks the church custodian to pray sometimes on Sunday nights because he knows God likes to hear prayers in Spanish, too.

My daddy always worries about the lost. I think he helps a lot of them find their way home.

I think my daddy will always be my favorite preacher.

I love my daddy "all the money in the world." I bet I'll miss him a whole, whole lot when he's gone.

I do.